Jump Starting the Universe Book Bundle Page 5

  “Well really,” she said, “just because I study math and physics doesn’t mean I’ve had my head buried in a text book forever. Besides, I play a little.”

  They all continued to stare. “Oh really, I thought we were leaving.”

  “Right you are,” said Blackie, “Anybody have any idea how to open this door? It is a door, isn’t it?”

  It was a good question. The door had no knob. In fact, it appeared to have no hinges. More to the point the door seemed more like a carbon fiber insert in the wall than a door. Wayne stepped up and pushed on the door.

  “I did that,” said Blackie.

  Wayne swung his leg back and kicked it really hard. The only result was the expulsion of some keen expletives and Wayne jumping about on one foot like a pogo stick. From far down the hallway they heard a loud noise, then voices. Mark put his shoulder to the door and pushed hard. It didn’t budge. Amelia joined him while Wayne kept jumping around the hallway and finally stopped to lean against the wall.

  Blackie said, “Maybe there is a code?”

  “Right,” returned Mark, “except there is no pad to enter a code is there.”

  “Maybe it’s verbal.”

  “Really? Maybe it’s verbal? What have you been reading?”

  Blackie ignored Mark, stepped up to the door and said, “Open.” Immediately the door did nothing. They heard noises and voices in the hallway again, but not as distant as before.

  Amelia put her shoulder against the door, “Come on, open please.”

  A slight mechanical sound came from the door, as if something was disengaging. As they watched, the door quickly developed lines running cattycornered from right to left and left to right. There was another mechanical sound accompanied by a soft click. Wayne was now standing on both feet. Suddenly the four sections of the door slid aside and there was an unobstructed opening.

  “That was the coolest thing I’ve seen since the Pink Floyd laser show,” said Wayne.

  Back inside the building, in a large chamber, people were gathered for a meeting. A man in a crisp uniform walked quickly, almost at a run, into the room and approached another man who stood at the base of a lavish riser. “They are gone” said the man.

  “Gone?” was the reply of the second man dressed in a similar crisp outfit. On the riser behind them, behind a large important looking desk, a chair swiveled to face the room.

  “They are gone,” said the man at the base of the riser.

  “We looked through all the halls,” said the first crisp man, “we checked with the clerk and they weren’t moved to different facilities, they just aren’t here.”

  “I thought this might happen,” said the man in the chair.

  “I’ll alert the Captain immediately, they couldn’t have gone far,” said the first crisp man.

  “Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary” said Judge Prenetian as he looked down from his chair.

  “Excuse me,” said the officer.

  “That won’t be necessary,” came the reply, “I believe they have left, you know, done a runner so to speak. Please report to the clerk that the matter has been settled, their cells are now available, and I will supply a complete report of the court’s ruling in due time. Have a good day.” The officer understood this to mean he was excused and left the chamber.

  “Judge,” said the man at the base of the riser.

  “Uhmm” intoned the Judge.

  “You have a meeting shortly in Chamber B with the State Department, and the Dietary Council of Alphus Nebulum to discuss extending the export ban on toast.

  “Oh yes, I do indeed,” said Prenetian, “although at this juncture it may be a moot point.”

  Outside in the alley, Blackie was leading the escape.

  “I don’t believe it, open please,” Marked sniffed after they stepped through the door. They heard a slight mechanical sound, four pieces of the door slid into place and with a clicking sound the faint cattycornered lines disappeared.

  “That is just more than cool,” said Wayne.

  Mark shook his head in disbelief, Open please, he thought, as they made their way down the alley. Walls of the adjacent building were covered with beautiful deep red stones trimmed with a white and almost translucent material.

  “You think I could export some of this?” said Blackie pointing to the stones. The alley was spotless, as if no one had ever been to the door behind them.

  As they neared the street Wayne asked, “Which way?”

  “Right,” said Blackie.

  “Are you sure?”

  Blackie wheeled around with a worried look on his face. “No, but it’s worked so far.” They came to the street, turned right and walked fast, really fast like they were late for really good seats at Wayne’s Pink Floyd concert. They kept walking fast and steady and were soon near the outskirts of town.

  Wayne noticed Mark examining a small card, “What’s that?”

  “I’m not sure,” replied Mark, “Prenetian handed this to me when we heard that first noise in the hallway and just before his escort entered the room,” He tried to remember because it happened very quickly, “I think he said it might come in handy.”

  “Let me see,” said Amelia, who took the small card, examined it and exclaimed, “this is a credit card.” By now they had been walking quite some time. Without hesitation she tucked the card in her back pocket and nipped into a store whose front they were just passing.

  “Is that safe?” Mark asked Wayne. The look on his face suggested the answer was no.

  “Too late to worry mate.”

  Several minutes later Amelia swung the door open. Looking over her shoulder at someone inside they heard her say, “Oh, thank you very much and I appreciate the advice.” Amelia was carrying a large bag full of drinks, assorted small boxes, packages and a large loaf of toast.

  Blackie reached out to help her with the bag; he could tell it was heavy. “What’s all this?” said Blackie.

  “We are going to be hungry soon and it seemed like a good chance to get information,” said Amelia.

  “Just like that,” said Wayne. “We are on a foreign…” he hesitated for a moment not wanting to say the word planet. We’re lost, on the run, and you thought it would be good to pop in someplace for a little chat with the locals?” he shook his head slowly in disbelief.

  “Have a drink and shut up,” said Amelia who seemed not be perturbed with Wayne in the least.

  Mark looked at Wayne, “No harm no foul mate,” then looking at Amelia, “you got one of those drinks for me?”

  “And me?” asked Blackie.

  Mark kept looking down the street, expecting to see someone in pursuit and suggested they not dally. Near the outskirts of town, the began to climb up a long rise to the base of some hills close by.

  “The shop keeper said her son hikes out here on weekends and normally there is no one around. She said ‘Mind the caves’.”

  “What does that mean?” said Blackie.

  “I have no idea, she told me, “you have 99.8% left on your card, mumbled something about the credits and then said, ‘Oh yes, when you’re in the hills, mind the caves.”

  After several hours of walking they made their way to the base of a small hill where trees surrounded a small clearing. “This is perfect,” said Blackie, we can see if anyone is coming from town and no one can approach from behind us.”

  Mark looked at Wayne and then Blackie “Going commando on us, are you?” Blackie pretended he didn’t hear. They had something to eat, laid out bedding and went to sleep.

  Early the next morning Mark woke and roused the others. “I’m going to the store to pick up extra food and drinks. I shouldn’t be long.” Mark dusted off his pants, rubbed his eyes and started toward town. The quartz gleamed under his feet and there was a cool breeze in his face. Not a bad place to be he thought; if you can’t be at home.

  As he approached town there was a small building on his right where he spied a hose pipe. Turning on the faucet he used som
e water to wash his face. Suddenly, a big hand grabbed the front of his shirt.

  “Water isn’t free,” said the owner of the hand, “I pay for it, don’t I.”

  “It was just a little water,” replied Mark.

  “Oh, just a little water?” said the man pulling hard on Mark’s shirt.

  “I can pay you,” said Mark showing the man the card.

  “I don’t take cards,” spat the man.

  “I don’t have anything else. Follow me to the store and I can get some cash and pay you properly.”

  “Yeah,” raged the man, “and maybe the moon is going to be green tonight instead of blue. Get out of here and don’t let me catch you near my place again.”

  Like that’s ever going to happen. He walked quickly down the street in the direction of the grocery store.

  Entering the store, he slipped around the aisles looking for food and drinks. His basket was mostly empty when he noticed a young woman about his age at the end of the aisle. She placed something in her basket and turned into the next row. Mark followed, and between glances he placed various things in his basket to look like he was shopping. She raised her head and smiled. Mark smiled back and said, “Hello.”

  “Hello,” she replied and made her way to the next aisle. This went on for quite some time and finally the young woman went to the counter to check out. Mark, having filled his basket almost full while trailing the young woman followed her to the check-out counter.

  “Nice day,” he said.

  “Yes, but it’s supposed to rain later.”

  “Rain?” said Mark. He had an odd look on his face.

  “Yes, rain, you know that liquid that falls from the sky occasionally,” she laughed.

  “It rains here?” Mark said questioningly.

  “I’m Nita,” said the young woman, “are you okay?”

  “Splendid,” said Mark unconvincingly, “simply splendid. I think I’ll just sit for a minute.” He made his way to the corner of the store where a small area was crammed with three tables so close it was difficult to pull out a chair.

  Nita finished checking out and joined him. “Here,” she said as she sat down at the table next to his and offered him a cup of coffee. The store owner appeared promptly with another cup of coffee and biscuits.

  “Why, thank you,” said Nita, and turning to Mark said, “It’s early and you’re already having a rough day.”

  Mark looked at her and tried not to get lost in the green eyes he had followed around the store for the last half hour. “On the way into town,” he began, “I got accused of stealing water from a small shop down there,” he pointed.

  “Now you have just told me that it’s going to rain. My friends are camping at the base of the hill just there,” pointing again, “and I just gathered an entire basket of things I don’t need, and certainly can’t carry.”

  Nita laughed. “Jake, the shop owner,” she nodded in the general direction Mark had pointed, “is mean and thinks people are always trying to take advantage. I’d steer clear of him if I were you; he has quite the temper.”

  She stopped and took a sip of coffee. Mark watched her as she raised the cup to her lips. It was like watching a ballet. Her slightest move, the way she held the cup, how she tipped the coffee into her mouth was in perfect balance, like a ballet, but something more.

  Movie producers should be queuing to sign her to a contract, thought Mark.

  They finished their coffee and biscuits and Nita said, “How about we sort out that basket and I’ll drive you up to the hills.”

  “That would be excellent,” said Mark.

  “You are not from here, are you?” she said”

  “No, I’m not even close to being from here,” he said.

  Nita smiled, but didn’t push for an explanation. They packed a large bag of drinks and food, then put the baby supplies back on the shelf as Nita laughed and Marked blushed. Then they checked out, and walked a short distance to Nita’s transport. It was low slung like a racecar.

  Mark tossed the bag of groceries in the tiniest of back seats and stood back to take it in. The paint was metallic red but it looked like you could almost put your hand through it. The wheels were perfect. The tires were odd. The rubber looked really hard and the wear marks were unlike any Mark had seen before.

  Mark knew a little about cars. He had rebuilt a 1958 Chevy back on Terra Bulga, complete with a fully restored 348 engine. “You might want to have those looked at,” he said, as he looked at the tires.

  “You like it?” she asked.

  “Nice, really nice, he replied.” So, when Nita started the transport Mark was shocked. It rose in the air about sixteen inches, the flat screen panel on the dash board indicated the “tires” had folded under, and the engine made hardly a whisper.

  “Do you know what kind of engine is in this thing?”

  “I should,” she replied, turning toward Mark, “I built it.” Nita looked out the windshield and the transport rocketed out of the parking lot like a dragster. “It’s a 49cc percussion drive,” said Nita over the wind. “It has really terrific power, about 88,000 equies, and pretty good economy if you adjust the particle induction properly.”

  “Yeah,” shouted Mark, “I always have trouble with adjusting particle induction,” not having a clue what he was saying. As they drove, it began to sprinkle.

  Fortunately, Amelia, Wayne and Blackie had stowed their bedding and were just wondering what was taking Mark so long.

  “Where could he be?” asked Amelia.

  “Oh, if I know Mark something got his attention,” said Wayne.

  “Yeah, something,” sniggered Blackie, and added, “We are going to get soaked to the bone if we don’t find some cover.” He climbed up the hill a short way and called back down, “Hey, there is a cave up here.”

  Amelia looked at Wayne. “I don’t like caves,” said Wayne, “I never have, they give me the creeps.”

  “Well,” said Amelia, “we could stay here. I’m alright with being wet.” Wayne knew she was just trying to be kind; it seemed she was always kind.

  Blackie made his way down to the clearing again and asked, “What’s the plan?”

  Without hesitation Wayne said, “We’re going in the cave. How big is it?”

  “Looked pretty big from the outside,” said Blackie.

  They slugged their way up the side of the hill to the mouth of the cave. Blackie piped up, “Shall we go in?” and disappeared into the opening. The air inside wasn’t stale; in fact, it was very pleasant. Amelia looked in and thought, “I’m really alright with being wet.”

  She ducked in and proceeded to where Blackie was standing observing the iridescent light emanating from the side of the cave. Wayne closed his eyes hard, opened them and the cave was still there, so he stepped inside and joined Blackie and Amelia near the wall.

  “It glows,” said Blackie. “No need for torches in here.” Behind them there was a soft sound like cheese cloth being pulled gently through a smooth hole. Blackie turned and froze. Amelia whipped around and stopped in mid-motion. Wayne stepped sideways to see several large shapes descending from the ceiling on smooth silvery strands. He glanced sideways and noticed Blackie and Amelia each had a strange pleased look on their face, and a tentacle stuck to the side of their head.

  Wayne thought, “I really don’t like caves,” and he went rigid.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LACTROPODECTOPOI

  No one has ever been seen leaving a cave infested by Lactropodectopoi. They are said to be fiercely protective of their nests and heinously carnivorous creatures. According to Jorge Carlin, eminent zoologist from Capscumsi 4, and Department Head of the Biology Department at Capscumsi University, the Lactropodectopoi are terrestrial creatures with an appearance simultaneously similar to a spider and octopus, as he thinks he remembers.

  They have multiple legs, more or less, and a large bulbous body, more or less, with several tentacles protruding outward and down; more or less. Their heads are
round and have too many eyes to count in the short period of time that expires before you go rigid - this last point being the most interesting.

  Rigidity of prey in the typical spider world is not a good thing if you are the prey. Professor Carlin is quoted from his Study of Lactropodectopoi in 3484.12, “Although there is much variation in Lactropodectopoi among the universes their effect is not similar to most protease spiders, whereby rigidity is inflicted by a toxin injected through incisors in the upper mandible.”

  “The injection may be followed by a certain sponginess of flesh and bones, and afterward a total redeployment of the prey’s tissues to offspring and friends.”

  So far so good if you are the prey of a Lactropodectopoi, but not so good if you’ve wondered into the nest of a Fangeri Almosc, where the average time to rigidity is thought to be measured in microseconds. Professor Carlin explains that after entering a Lactropodectopoi nest one has only seconds to observe them before going rigid. Needless to say, it took 518 trips into a Lactropodectopoi nest to obtain enough information to flesh out his study – all eight thousand paragraphs.

  It turns out Lactropodectopoi are highly intelligent creatures with the sense to do nothing that would dissuade the persistent spread of an erroneous legend claiming them to be fierce, protective, and best of all carnivorous. They like their quiet and peace, and frankly the legend hasn’t hurt in that regard. You don’t see teachers queuing up students to go see Lactropodectopoi in their natural habitat, do you? If they did, they would have a very good time after all, and the bus driver would enjoy a quiet return trip to school, alone.

  You see, Lactropodectopoi are both telepathic and telekinetic. Upon entering their nest, which is always in a cave formed using the brushes on their back legs, the “prey” is tentacled, and they have a nice telepathic chat. Lactropodectopoi, it seems by use of these intermittent chats, have become proficient in nearly every language in the universes.

  Each time one learns a new term he passes it onto his nest mates and others telepathically. It’s a group study if you will, and is being considered as the next step in the evolution of educational methods for school-aged children on fourteen planets. Earthlings use the dreary name, 'group-project' which describes the general idea in a rather uncouth way.