Jump Starting the Universe Book Bundle Page 8

  “These are all we have,” Nita replied.

  “Cash?” inquired Tugurro. Wayne was slightly amused watching the ladies find out that two perfectly good credit cards were of no use. “This is brilliant,” he thought. Wayne looked at Mark with a grin on his face and whispered “They say, don’t leave home without it.”

  Mark grinned back, “Apparently, they didn’t know how far from home we’d wander,” he said stifling a laugh.

  “We don’t have any cash,” said Nita. Maybe we could go get some cash and then pay you.”

  “No one leaves until I’m paid,” said Tugurro politely, “house rules.”

  “Well everyone doesn’t have to go,” said Nita, and under her breath she said to Wayne, “they are usually very charming, but some can be a little dense sometimes.”

  “How about we leave something for collateral, go and get cash and come back,” said Mark.

  “Agreed,” said Tugurro, “What do you have for collateral?”

  “We have music instruments,” said Wayne, glaring at Mark, “we’ll fetch them.” Wayne and Mark went to the car and pulled out his custom bass and Mark’s 1964 Gretsch Duo Jet guitar.

  “I can’t believe I offered that up,” said Mark.

  “It’s not like we had a whole lot of choices,” remarked Wayne. They returned to the restaurant, laid the guitar cases on the table and opened them to show Tugurro.

  “What do these devices do?” asked Tugurro.

  “Judging from our last gig, they make noise no one wants to hear,” said Wayne dismissively. Mark laid down his pack-bag that he had retrieved from the Nomad and the contents poured onto the table.

  Tugurro’s eyes widened as he pointed excitedly to one of the items. “What is that?” he asked excitedly.

  Mark looked in the direction he was pointing and said, “Oh, that’s toast.”

  Tugurro looked glazed as if someone had announced he’d been awarded a large annual bonus. “Toast,” he whispered.

  Mark suddenly remembered what Prenetian had told them (it’s not allowed to be exported and discussion of the recipe is strictly forbidden). “Yeah, real toast,” said Mark authoritatively and picked up the toast with his left hand. “It’s considered class 4A contraband.”

  “It’s what?” said Amelia.

  “Stay with me,” he whispered quietly so that Tugurro didn’t hear.

  He wouldn’t have, every Cerotodairhin sensory organ was precisely focused on the bit of toast laying on the table. “A piece of this puppy is probably worth quite a lot,” said Mark as he picked up the toast and cavalierly waved it in Tugurro’s direction. “And if a good chef had a piece of this, he could probably figure out how to duplicate it and make himself very, very rich. Have you ever tasted toast Tugurro?” said Mark. Tugurro shook his head.

  Mark broke off a piece of the toast for effect. Then he did the best Mafioso – I’d like to be your friend – impersonation he could muster, not forgetting how very big the Cerotodairhin looming over him appeared.

  “I like you Tugurro, and I think the rest of the group would agree you are the sort of guy, I mean person,” (Cerotodairhin” interjected Nita”), “Cerotodairhin we can trust. So, here’s what I’m going to do.” He stopped to think for a moment, since he was making what amounted to an extemporaneous speech at a toast masters club.

  “I mean what WE are going to do. We are all going to give you half of this toast.” Tugurro almost fainted and sat down in the closest chair, his massive frame spilling over both sides.

  Mark continued, “In consideration of this gift we will be partners in any business venture formed to take advantage of the toast recipe you, or any of your associates devise, and we will accrue 30 percent of the gross revenues of said business venture. “And,” he paused, “those revenues will be deposited to the accounts upon which our two credit cards were issued.” Mark thought for a moment and noticed everyone staring at him like he had just performed a Perry Mason. “Oh, one more thing,” he added, “lunch is on the house. Agreed?” finished Mark.

  Tugurro’s eyes finally slid back into focus, “Agreed, “he said, and added, “You want something for the road.”

  “Sure” said Mark, “Nita would you be so kind as to select a few items to suit our travel needs.”

  Mark was really getting into 'the part'; the hint of Sicilian accent was perfect. While Blackie and Wayne hauled the guitars back to the Nomad, Nita made her selections and Mark drew up an agreement on the back of a Quidlid fiber paper napkin. “This is great paper,” observed Mark.

  Thirty minutes later Tugurro had returned with food for the road, and the group was on its way as partners of a new business venture. “I think that went nicely, don’t you?” he asked the group as they got in the Nomad and put on their sunglasses.

  “We should look for a place to stay” said Amelia, “before it gets too late.” Down the street and to the right they found a nice-looking place they assumed was a hotel.

  “We’ll need three rooms,” said Mark, “one for you and Nita, one for Wayne and me, and one for Blackie.”

  They got out of the Nomad and walked inside the establishment. It was beyond nice. The floors were tiled with green stones and the walls were set with complementing beige and green materials. The lobby ceiling was 20 meters high and the most amazing multi-tiered chandelier was hung from the ceiling.

  “Check that out,” said Blackie pointing up at the chandelier. A beam of light was being emitted from a gun at the top of the fixture. The light beam was aimed to hit a faceted crystal near the center of the chandelier. The light was then split and beamed to adjoining crystals hung in a circle around the center. The inner circle of crystals split the light and beamed it to the next circle of crystals, but not to adjacent ones. This resulted in a maze of crisscrossed light beams between each circular set of crystals until the light was effused from the tenth ring in a dazzling display.

  Looking up at the chandelier Wayne asked, “Can we afford to stay here?”

  “Let’s find out,” and Nita marched up to the counter that was made of beautifully carved Absentia wood.

  “Welcome to Latninea Four’s Hotel Phoenix,” said the clerk with a smile.

  “We are looking for lodging,” said Nita to the attendant, “do you have three rooms, possibly two doubles and a single?”

  “Let me just check, let’s see, yes we do,” said the attendant.

  “And can I put the charges on this?” said Amelia who had walked up behind Nita.

  “Oh certainly, everyone takes the card,” responded the attendant.

  “Not everyone,” said Mark to himself, “I have a good feeling about our toast venture,” he finished looking at Wayne. Wayne copped a look of utter contempt thinking Mark had coolly talked them out of a jam, but he didn’t have much faith in the toast agreement.

  Amelia had the attendant check her card balance to make sure they could afford the stay. “Not bad really,” announced Amelia to the group, “we still have a lot of credit.”

  The group decided to take a long walk in the neighborhood around the hotel and discuss their options. “We can hang out for a while,” said Mark, “we have plenty of credit and I’d like to explore a little.”

  “Maybe we could get some gigs,” offered Blackie, “what sort of music do you think they listen to here?”

  “Probably not the music we play,” responded Mark and Wayne almost in unison. Amelia was looking at the stars as they walked.

  “Any idea?” asked Wayne who noticed her gazing.

  “Loads”

  “I mean about where we might be?”

  “Haven’t a clue, we need to ask Nita”

  “Good idea,” said Wayne. “Nita,” started Wayne, “do you have any idea where we are.”

  “Not a clue,” came the reply, “I really haven’t traveled much.”

  “Well, except for Port Aransas we haven’t either until now,” said Mark.

  “Port Aransas, is that a space station.”


  “Not exactly,” said Blackie before anyone else could respond, “although it does have loads of visitors each year, mostly in the summer. We transport there occasionally,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

  They walked for some time before circling back to the hotel.

  “And here we are,” said Mark.

  “Good, what say we have dinner in the park across the street,” recommended Amelia.

  “A picnic?” said Mark.

  “Picnic?” questioned Nita.

  As they made their way toward the door Mark said “I’ll explain.” Wayne moved the Nomad to the far corner of the parking lot, while everyone else packed the food Tugurro provided. Then, he placed a small notice on the dashboard that read, “Do Not Disturb, Property of Guest at Hotel Phoenix,” and joined them in the park.

  A wide stone pathway circumnavigated the park like a lazy river at an amusement park. The stones were white with bits of beige and orange flecks and yellow streaks. Lining the inside of the large pathway were Belgonquin trees. All the trees were about the same size, possibly indicating they were planted about at the same time.

  At 35 meters tall they were small for Belgonquin trees, and their canopies were only 20 meters across; they couldn’t have been more than 1,400 years old. Occasionally a smaller pathway would branch off into the interior of the park between the trees and sometimes a pathway would double back around the trees and lead to benches that were placed in the shade on the west side of the canopy.

  It was at one of these, near the south side of the park, not far from the hotel that they spread their dinner. Tugurro had outdone himself; there were breads and meats, pickled vegetables, a nice mixed salad and five desserts, all having an aroma that none of them had ever had the pleasure of smelling before.

  “Oh man,” exclaimed Mark, “I’m famished.”

  Blackie looked at Mark setting out traveling dishes and replied, “Yeah well since you started working out you’re always famished, aren’t you? There’s hardly ever anything left.”

  It should be pointed out that Blackie was in the midst of a growth spurt and had an appetite completely out of control. He conveniently didn’t point this out to anyone, although Wayne, who had on more than one occasion strongly suspected food had been robbed off his plate while he wasn’t looking, knew it was true.

  Between the two of them Mark and Blackie ate through a large percentage of their family’s food budget. Their dad once remarked to one of his friends named Hildy (Buster’s dad) that trying to feed them was like throwing a week’s paycheck into his Troy Built shredder, it was instantly dispatched and ready for more.

  Amelia had poured drinks and everyone sat down to eat. Words like delicious, outstanding, brilliant, and this is bloody excellent, drifted across the air from anyone whose mouth was temporarily empty; sometimes not so much. Everyone tucked into dessert and polished off every morsel.

  They had gathered all the trash and stowed it in a nearby bin when Nita noticed it was getting hazy. “I wonder if it’s always hazy like this in the evening,” she said looking across the tops of the trees.

  Wayne sniffed. He sniffed again. “That’s not haze,” he bellowed looking south across the tops of the trees toward the hotel, “that’s smoke.” They ran to the outer foot path and observed people pouring out the lobby door. Oddly, everyone seemed to be completely calm and some even had smiles on the faces. A very loud alarm went off as they crossed the street.

  “Wayne, Wayne,” yelled Amelia, “all of my things are in the hotel.”

  Wayne looked at Amelia and instantly knew. He bolted across the street and angled to a side door with only one thing in mind, the Jump Starter.

  “What does he think he’s doing?” yelled Mark as Wayne entered the door.

  “The Jump Starter, Mark, the Jump Starter is in my room.”

  “Everyone, come on, NOW, come on, we stay together,” blurted Mark, and they swept across the street between passing transports.

  Blackie got the door first and opened it, “Take the stairs over to the right, Wayne wouldn’t have taken the lift.”

  They bolted to the stairs and ran up three flights with more adrenaline than they could burn. Smoke was starting to weep into the hallway. Wayne could be seen ahead, against the wall opposite Amelia’s room. Then suddenly he took a step, jumped into the air, and placed a tremendous kick against the bolt on the door. The wood around the bolt splintered into chucks as the door flew open and Wayne charged into the room.

  Mark, Amelia, Nita and Blackie converged on the open door. Wayne had already grabbed Amelia’s bag with the Jump Starter. “Let’s go” he yelled.

  “But our things” yelled Nita.

  “They can be replaced,” said Wayne with an impossibly cool demeanor. “Follow me.”

  They went back to the stairway and stopped inside on the landing. “This stair will dump us back in the lobby, on the side opposite the kitchen,” said Wayne. “That’s probably where the fire started. When we get to the bottom stairway door, grab the shirt of the person in front of you and hang on for dear life.” They went down the stairs and Wayne hesitated until everyone was on the landing. “Ready,” he yelled, “let’s go.”

  They were not prepared for what they saw. The fire was everywhere. Wayne remembered his friend Sean telling him a fire doubles in size every minute. He liked Sean. He was a firefighter and had great stories; Wayne wondered if he would ever see his friend and his wife Christie again.

  Just then the parapet over the side door came crashing down with a thunderous impact and careened against the door. Wayne stooped as low as he could and led the group to the middle of the lobby. He strained to see another exit. The smoke was thick and they wouldn’t last long. Blackie yelled something at Amelia. She reached into her bag and clutched the Jump Starter. Her eyes were red from heat and smoke. Blackie was coughing badly.

  “Here” yelled Mark, “everyone here.” Wayne barely heard him over the din. He could see equipment being marshaled in front of the hotel, but it was too late.

  A fireman in a ladder truck saw them in the lobby and started yelling to his crew and pointing; they were suiting up. Wayne turned to the group who were huddled together. It seemed like an eternity had passed, and then, like time had slowed and everything that happened was in very slow-motion.

  “Push it,” yelled Mark. “Push it or we’re done for.” Woosh came the sound. Woosh, woosh. “Hurry please,” thought Nita, “please hurry.” Woosh, woosh. White haze and silver flashes and golden rings enveloped them. Woosh, woosh. Mark looked at Wayne’s face as it was going slightly translucent. Woosh, woosh.

  The fireman stood next to the ladder truck transfixed by the scene playing out inside the lobby. Blackie looked up at the beautiful chandelier and thought how awful it was that it would be destroyed. The power hadn’t been cut off yet and the chandelier continued to cast its pleasant light, as if in defiance of what was going on all around it. He brought his gaze down from the ceiling to look at his friends huddled around him and realized there was no heat, there was no smoke, and no noise from the fire.

  He realized he couldn’t hear the firemen outside the lobby’s front door trying to bash aside debris so they could enter and rescue them. The fireman at the ladder truck was still transfixed by what he saw. Blackie looked at the four translucent forms that stood by him, glanced at the rescue squad at the front door, made eye contact with the Captain and mouthed the words, “Thank you.”

  All around them fire was devouring the beautiful furnishings. Thick black smoke filled the air inside the lobby and billowed out broken windows like black smoke from a burning tire, or an old decrepit diesel burning engine. The beautiful counter where they checked in became so hot the Absentia wood burst into flames, instantly engulfing the entire check-in area. Curtains consumed by flames looked like giant logs that had been pulled from a Whitley bonfire and stood on end, fire flashing and growing bigger and hotter. Woosh, Woosh, the rings flew by them.

  Oddly, and for
tunately, there was no sign of anyone else in the lobby. There were no bodies lying on the floor overcome by smoke and they hadn’t seen anyone upstairs when they sprinted to Amelia’s room in search of the Jump Starter. No one came down the stairs. No one exited the elevator that seemed to have left some upper level of the hotel on its own volition and now mysteriously opened to the lobby as if beckoning them to enter and escape.

  “I’m not getting in there,” thought Mark as he peered through smoke.

  Wayne noticed the elevator beckoning with its open doors and remembered Sean telling him, “Don’t ever use the elevator in a fire, it’s a death trap.”

  Blackie heard a terrific shearing sound overhead and glanced up to see that enormous chandelier ripping itself from the ceiling. Woosh, woosh the rings flew by them. The others hadn’t noticed and Blackie quietly closed his eyes, it would be better that way. Woosh, Woosh, he could see the golden light through his closed eyelids. The chandelier hit and exploded like a bomb, with glass and wire shrapnel being expelled from the impact like bullets from a sniper’s rifle.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS AND COUNTING

  Jump Starters are known for exacting precision and accuracy and can transport their user with no pain or lingering effects to anyplace in the universes. Much to the chagrin of its stockholders, the exact method by which a Jump Starter achieves this precision, accuracy, and personal safety is completely and utterly unknown, even to most of the scientists at Jump Starter Corporation.

  The small letter “d” after the serial number of each and every Jump Starter stands for developmental; their attorney thought it might reduce their liability. Not to worry, this experimental approach has been used by pharmaceutical companies to develop new medicines throughout the galaxies; often they don’t seem to know exactly how their products work either, or the long-term side effects. They also have outstanding attorneys.

  Although there is much speculation on the matter it seems one particular theory regarding the Jump Starter’s operation holds much more sway than others. Rather than quote the theory proposed by Brode Aquam, which would add some 400 pages to this book, we will use unmitigated paraphrasing and, at the risk of being sued, explain what we think we know thusly: An operating Jump Starter produces a white haze that expands the time and space continuum to shroud its operator, and anything in very close proximity. Inside the shroud, all structural particles are pushed apart slightly, say eighteen billionths of a millimeter, more or less. While that doesn’t seem like much, it is apparently enough to suspend certain physiological functions, like normal cellular activity and the like without permanent harm (so says the Jump Starter Corporation).